


Waiting Too Long

by lillianfromaccounting



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bombs, Brainwashing, Depression, Drinking, Explosions, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kidnapping, Language, Mild Smut, Violence, a little cracky, brainwashing super soldiers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 17:06:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9558695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillianfromaccounting/pseuds/lillianfromaccounting
Summary: Every time Steve musters the courage to ask Maria out, life (or saving the world) gets in the way.Set in a post-Civil War AU where everything is honky dory, no one’s mad at each other, and Pietro is around. I took the liberty to tweak some lyrics to fit the story.Fanfic to NSYNC’s Greatest Hits album as part of mrs-squirrel-chester‘s fanfic album challenge





	1. Bye Bye Bye

**Author's Note:**

> NSYNC's Bye Bye Bye video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo-KmOd3i7s

**Avengers Tower, New Year’s Eve, 11:30PM.**

“Tony, it was very gracious of you to host the party at the tower,” Bruce said, holding up his glass. “Here, here!”  
“Oh, don’t thank me, it was all Pepper’s idea,” Tony said, wrapping an arm around her waist.  
“Well, it’s a heck of a party,” Betty said, clinking her glass of champagne to Pepper’s.  
“Maria did all the heavy lifting,” Pepper said. “I just ordered the catering.”  
“Speaking of, where is she?” Tony asked. “It’s almost midnight and she promised me fanfare.”  
“I haven't seen her yet,” Bucky said, turning his head to scan the room again. “Steve, why don't you go check on her?”  
Steve caught Bucky's smirk and responded with a glare. He cleared his throat. “I think she was meeting her boyfriend downstairs in the lobby,” Steve said. “But don't worry, Tony; Maria told me all about the fanfare and you won't be disappointed.”  
Wanda joined the group with a glass in hand. “Maria? She’s--oh no,” she said in a low voice, brows knit, sensing something in the distance.  
“What?” Steve stood up.  
“They’re having a big fight,” Wanda shook her head and pursed her lips. “Oh, those are nasty words.”  
Steve was gone before Wanda finished her thought.

\---

When the elevator doors opened, Steve was greeted by Maria’s voice echoing through the empty lobby. He spotted her red dress right away. Her bare back was towards him but Steve could tell that she had her arms crossed in front of her. Seeing that she wasn’t in imminent danger, he stood behind a pillar to stay out of sight.

"I don't want to have this fight again, Fedor!” she yelled.

_Bye bye bye_  
_I'm doing this tonight_  
 _You're probably gonna start a fight_  
 _I know this can't be right_  
 _Hey baby come on_  
 _I loved you endlessly_  
 _When you weren't there for me_  
 _So now it's time to leave and make it alone_

"It's not a fight; we're not punching each other in the face," Fedor's calm, snide tone just irritated Maria more. “Fighting is what you do with your superhero friends.”  
"I'm not actively avoiding meeting your parents. I have work--missions--you know, save the world type stuff!" Her hands went up to her face.  
“You’re obviously available now. We could have met up with my parents instead of going to this shindig,” he groaned.  
“These are my friends and colleagues. I spend a lot of time with them,” Maria said slowly. “We work very hard, and once in a while, we like to spend time together that doesn’t involve saving the world.” Steve recognized the tone. When her voice got to this level of eerie calm, she was about to go nuclear.

_I know that I can't take no more_  
_It ain't no lie_  
 _I want to see you out that door_  
 _Baby bye bye bye_

“Oh you mean like how you spend Tuesdays nights with _the guys_ drinking whiskey and eating pizza?” Fedor drew air quotes around ‘the guys’.  
“You teach on Tuesday nights,” Maria replied.  
"Convenient excuse! And teaching is a very important job!" he said.  
"I never said it wasn't! You don’t even like pizza!” Maria raised her voice again; she grabbed the back of the metal chair in front of her, her knuckles white.  
“Oh, but Steve Rogers does, doesn’t he?” Fedor sassed, raising an eyebrow.

_Don't want to be a fool for you_  
_Just another player in your game for two_  
 _You may hate me but it ain't no lie_  
 _Baby bye bye bye_

“What are you implying?” Maria’s voice fell low. “Steve is a very close friend.” Steve felt a twinge deep in his chest at the word.  
“You spend an awful lot of time with him, on these missions, in close quarters, on and off the field. You live in the same building. You’re always talking about Steve this and Steve that.” Steve almost gave away his position. He would hate to be the reason for their argument, but at the same time, he couldn’t deny that he very much enjoyed the time he spends with Maria.  
“I trust him with my life,” she said, exasperated.  
“There’s trust and then there’s devotion,” Fedor spat.  
“Are you questioning my devotion to you or questioning whether or not Steve and I are more than friends?”

_Just hit me with the truth_  
_Now girl you're more than welcome to_  
 _So give me one good reason_  
 _Baby come on_  
 _I've lived for you and me_  
 _And now I really come to see_  
 _That life would be much better once you're gone_

"Look, Maria," Fedor huffed to himself. “I just want a normal, quiet life where I can sit down to my cup of tea in the afternoon every day and not have to worry about what country you're blowing up. I want to be able to introduce you to my friends and family and not have to use a fake news cover story. This is not the life I signed up for.”

_I know that I can't take no more_  
_Ain't no lie_  
 _I want to see you out that door_  
 _Baby bye bye bye_

"Look, it was fun for ten months, but it’s not going to work out." Fedor grabbed his coat off a nearby coffee table.  
Maria's jaw slacked but she immediately closed her mouth again.  
"Goodbye, Maria," Fedor said. "If that's even your real name."

_I'm giving up I know for sure_  
_don't want to be the reason for your love no more_  
 _Bye bye_  
 _I'm checking out, I'm signing off_  
 _Don't want to be the loser and I've had enough_  
 _Baby bye bye bye_

Maria muttered a string of curses and punched the metal chair.  
“Fuck!” she yelled, shaking her hand out.  
Steve waited until Fedor was out of sight before walking up to her.  
“Hey, there you are!” he chirped, flashing a big smile. “Tony is getting his panties in a bunch over his fanfare.”  
She diverted her gaze to the floor, swallowing hard and taking a deep breath.  
“Yeah,” her voice cracked. Wrapping her arms around herself, she walked into the elevator.  
“Here,” Steve took his brown leather jacket off and draped it over her shoulders. “It’s going to be cold up there.”  
He caught a quick glimpse of her wet eyes before she looked away again.  
“Thanks,” she whispered.


	2. Girlfriend (The Neptunes Remix)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Video for Girlfriend (the Neptunes remix) featuring Nelly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuydRdM1QR8

“Let’s make this quick, we have to get back to the party before anyone misses us. You know how Steve freaks out when he doesn’t know where you are,” Natasha said before crashing her mouth into Bucky’s, her fingers raking through his hair. She slammed him into the wall of the training room and climbed up, wrapping her legs around his waist. His metal arm supported her weight while his right arm hiked her sleek black dress up to her waist. One of her hands made quick work of his pants while her lips kissed a trail along his scruffy jaw. “The tux is nice, but would look better on my floor. I like the new haircut,” she teased.

“I kept it just long enough for you to hold on.” He waggled his eyebrows.

_Would you be my girlfriend?_   
_Uh, Would you be my girl?_ _  
Would you be my, (would you be my girlfriend?) Check it_

Bucky turned so that Natasha’s back was to the wall. She grabbed onto a nearby weight rack as Bucky grazed his beard against her inner thighs. He wasn't surprised that she had a knife sheathed in her garter, but delighted to find she was sans underwear.

_I'll make your neck pop back and in fact I'll buckle your knees (hey)_   
_Please okay, baby what's it gon take for you to be my lady (tell me right now)_   
_I hear you ask yourself if you should_   
_You tell me the sex, it’s good_ _  
I'll make ya keep yellin', "Bucky, I wish you would"_

_But you're hesitatin', debatin' whether or not it's real_   
_I ain't shootin game, boo, I'm just tellin you how I feel_   
_I'm diggin’ everything about you_   
_Your hips and the way the sway_   
_I hate to see you leave boo, but let us see ya all the way_   
_I'll be your personal shrink, boo, I care what you think_   
_(Woo)_

\----

Steve pressed a button and the elevator doors closed.

"Permission to speak freely," Steve stole another glance at her.  
"Steve, you're the boss," Maria said. "You always have permission to speak freely."   
"I want to speak--as a friend," he hesitated.   
Maria took a deep breath. "You know you always have permission to speak freely with me, especially as a friend."

_I don't know why you care (why you thinkin' bout him mamma?)_   
_He doesn't even know you're there_   
_'Cause he don't love your eyes (no)_   
_And he don't love your smile (no)_ _  
Girl you know that ain't fair (c'mon)_

She turned to catch Steve staring at her, his cherry red lips in a pout.  
"He didn't deserve you," Steve spat.   
"Pardon?" Maria shook her head.   
"That Fedor fellow." Steve cleared his throat. "You deserve better."   
"I wasn't exactly girlfriend of the year," Maria said. "I should have made more of an effort."   
"More of an effort than him? He never visited the tower, even those nights when you texted him after a mission. He should have made more of an effort. He never brought you flowers or took you out dancing—or whatever kids do these days on dates.”

Maria mustered up a smile.

_In the middle of the night_   
_Is he gonna be by your side?_   
_Or will he run and hide?_   
_You don't know cause things ain't clear_  
 _And baby when you cry_  
 _Is he gonna stand by your side?_  
 _Does the man even know you're alive?_

\---

“Oh god, James!” Natasha moaned, her fingernails clawing down his tuxedo jacket.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, muffling the guttural sounds coming out of his mouth. She peppered kisses on his head as her heels found the floor again.

“So are we an item? Boyfriend-girlfriend? What do kids call it these days?” Bucky tucked himself back into his pants.

"I like this arrangement that we have," Natasha replied slowly, adjusting her dress. "Why do we need a label?"  
"I want to be able to take you out to dinners, hold your hand in public. I'm tired of sneaking around behind everyone's backs," Bucky said.   
"I appreciate all of that." Natasha flashed a quick smile. "I don't need grand gestures."   
"But I do," Bucky said. "I want the whole world to know how much I love you. Is this about that guy from Harvard that you ran into last week?"   
"No, James. There's no one else."   
"Then what is it?" Bucky asked.   
"I just--I don't like labels," Natasha sighed. She laced her fingers with his metal hand. “But I love what we have.”   
Bucky clenched in jaw and turned his gaze away from her.

_Why don't you be my girlfriend_   
_I'll treat you good (I'll treat you good girl)_   
_I know you hear your friends when they say you should_   
_'Cause if you were my girlfriend_   
_I'd be your shining star_   
_The one to show you where you are_  
 _Girl you should be my girlfriend_

  
Her thumb gently rubbed the scruff along his jaw.   
"Look, if it means so much to you, we can tell Steve after the ball drops," she offered.   
He took both her hands in his. "Really?" He smiled from ear to ear.   
"Yes, really." She couldn’t help but return the smile.

\---

“He never made an effort to get to know you or any of us. I mean, we technically live with you. People may pursue more alternative lifestyles these days, but you would think if someone was interested in you, they’d want to know about your everyday life,” Steve rambled. “If it were me, I’d care. If you were my girlfriend, I’d--I’d--I’d want to spend every moment possible with you. I’d figure out how to move into the tower or very close to it, get to know the competition.”

  
_Does he know what you feel (does he know what you feel?)_   
_Are you sure that it's real yeah (are you sure?)_   
_Does he ease your mind (nah)_   
_Or does he break your stride?_   
_Did you know that love could be a shield yeah_   


Maria laughed. “What competition? The last time someone around here asked me out was when the new IT guy Kevin joined the team and didn’t know better. He was sweet.”

“What happened to him?” Steve couldn’t place a face to the name.

“Oh, he practically shit his pants when he realized who I was and renegged on the date.” Maria shrugged.

“Hey, if I were some regular guy, I’d be intimidated by all of this.”

“You’re not some regular guy, Steve, you’re Captain fucking America. You could probably pick up anyone you want,” Maria scoffed.

“Oh, I dunno,” Steve said. “You wouldn’t go out with me, would you? I mean, hypothetically.”  
  
_Ever since I saw your face_   
_Nothing in my life has been the same_   
_I walk around just saying your name_   
_Without you my world would end, yeah_   
_I've searched around this whole damn place_   
_And everything says you were meant to be_ _  
_ My girlfriend... oh

“Yeah, why not? You’re a stand-up guy,” Maria said without missing a beat. “Anyone would be lucky to have you. You’re pretty amazing.”

Steve looked down, willing away the blush creeping up his face.

_Girl you should be my girlfriend (you make my heart sing)_

The elevator opened up to the helipad. The party had moved out there in anticipation of the fireworks at midnight.

“Maria!” Tony called out. “There you are!” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple.

“Yes, yes,” Maria put on a smile. “I promised you a show.”

“Fanfare,” Tony corrected. “You promised me fanfare.”

“Coulson, we’re ready for you.” Maria spoke into her comm.

A few moments later, several of Tony’s Iron Man suit prototypes flew up and danced to music blaring from the outdoor speakers.

“This is atrocious,” Tony said. Steve shot Maria a concerned look. “This is absolutely atrocious and it’s genius! Who programmed them to do this?” Tony laughed.

“It was a group effort,” Maria said.

Bucky walked out onto the helipad while Natasha snuck in on the other side, through one of the windows. They both joined the group as Bruce came over and handed out champagne glasses to everyone. The Avengers tower LED sign briefly turned into a countdown clock as the new year approached.

“TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” the crowd shouted. Fireworks illuminated the New York skyline. The group exchanged hugs and kisses, wishing each other happiness and prosperity.

Tony gave Maria a hug. “Thanks for the party. I needed it after this year.”

“Anytime, boss,” Maria said, pulling out of the hug.

Steve placed his hand on Maria’s elbow.

“Happy new year, Steve,” she said, turning towards him with a smile.

“Happy new year,” he replied. As he leaned in to give her a hug, Bucky shoved him. Steve tripped over Maria’s feet and instinctively wrapped his arms around her, softening her landing as they hit the ground.

“Sorry. I’m such a klutz. You ok?” he asked, locking eyes with her.

“Yeah, I think so. You?” she asked, hands on his shoulders.

“Yea--” He knew he should probably get up, but he didn't want to move from his position. "This might be out of line." He cupped her cheek in his left hand and leaned in, pressing his lips onto hers. He felt her cold fingers on the back of his neck, inviting him to deepen the kiss. Her lips were soft and tasted of champagne and raspberries. For a moment, his surroundings faded and there was a serene stillness he hadn’t felt in a very long time. Another moment passed and the loud boom of the fireworks assaulted his ears again. He pulled back for air, trying to read the expression on Maria’s face. “About that question earlier. What if it wasn’t hypothetical?”

_Girl you should be my girlfriend (would you be my girl)_   
_Girl you should be my girlfriend (would you be my)_   
_Girl you should be my girlfriend_   


She absentmindedly ran her fingers through his hair, grinning sheepishly. “Which question again?”

Steve sighed and ran his thumb along her jaw. “Maria Hill, will you do me the honor of goi--"

BOOM!

An explosion in the distance interrupted him. As they all looked up, several other explosions went off in the vicinity.

Steve helped Maria to her feet.

“JARVIS, report,” Tony said.

“Five explosions on Liberty Island.” JARVIS brought up holographic screens with footage of the damage. “The island is closed, but one of the explosions damaged a nearby cruise ship. They seem to be docking on the island to wait for emergency assistance.”

“Avengers, assemble!” Steve called out.

“Show of hands,” Tony said, raising his hand. “Who’s sober?” Half the attendees raised their hands. “Ok, who here thinks they’re sober enough to walk a tightrope over a fiery pit?” Half the hands went down.

“I don’t think I could walk a tightrope, sober or not,” Bruce said to himself.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Tony said. “Ok, Vision, Thor, and I will take Capsicle, Old Man Winter, and Banner over. The rest of you, suit up and sober up in the quinjet.”


	3. This I Promise You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Video for This I Promise You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6thmPrTxBtI

"What's it look like?" Natasha asked.  
"Chaos," Steve replied. Black smoke billowed out one of the corners of the statue's foundation. Part of Lady Liberty's dress was singed. People were roaming in every direction, despite security's best effort of crowd control.  
"Captain America!" A woman ran up to Steve, clutching his arms. "I heard screaming from inside!" She pointed towards the statue.  
"I'll go in," Bucky said. "You set up the rendezvous point."

Bucky strutted through the tide of people to get to the statue. His metal arm made quick work of the burning debris blocking the closest entrance.  
“Hello?” Bucky called out. He wasn’t sure if his night vision goggles were any help; his visibility was completely hindered by the smoke.

_When the visions around you  
Bring tears to your eyes  
And all that surrounds you  
Are secrets and lies  
I'll be your strength  
I'll give you hope  
Keeping your faith when it's gone_

Steve and the island’s security team gathered the crowd near the flagpole.  
“Maria, ETA?” Steve asked.  
“Landing in five,” she replied.  
“I’m going to do a final sweep of the statue. Bucky hasn’t checked in yet,” he said.  
“Steve,” Maria said. “Be careful.”  
“Aren’t I always?” He was sure she heard his smirk in his voice.  
“Get a room already,” Natasha said.  
“Got any you and Buck recommend?” Steve sassed. He didn’t quite catch Nat’s response as he entered the statue, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t in English.

Steve didn’t expect the level of damage inside Lady Liberty. It took him longer than he had wanted to get to higher ground, above the fires. Just as he cleared a set of stairs, a black form dropped in front of him right into the pit of flames. He saw the crash more than heard it and ran right back down the stairs he had just climbed. He wanted to believe that his eyes were playing tricks on him in the haze. His heart pounded louder with each descending step. Once he reached the ground level, the metal arm was unmistakable.  
“BUCKY!” Steve rushed to Bucky’s side and slipped an arm under his neck.

_And I will take you in my arms  
And hold you right where you belong  
Til' the day my life is through  
This I promise you_

“BUCK!” Steve shouted.  
Bucky’s chest heaved; his eyes fluttered. “Go. Now.”  
“Shhhhh,” Steve said. “You’ll be okay. We’ll get you out of here.”  
“No,” Bucky whispered. “Trap.”  
Steve looked up to see a net drop over them. There was no time to react before everything went black.

_I've loved you forever  
In lifetimes before  
And I promise you never  
Will you hurt anymore_

Steve blinked his eyes. He heard his name in the distance. It sounded muffled. It was too bright to open his eyes all the way, so he closed them again, but his name kept ringing in the distance.  
“Steve. Steve. Steeeeve!” The voice was so familiar. It sounded like Bucky. Bucky!

_Over and over I thought  
When I hear you call  
Without you in my life, Bucky  
I just wouldn't be living at all_

Steve’s eyes shot open. He tried to sit up but he was restrained. He could only see out of his right eye as his left was covered by some sort of contraption. There was something in his mouth that he couldn’t spit out.  
“Steve!” Bucky’s voice was still muffled, as if behind a window. “Don’t fight it. It hurts more if you fight it. I’ll get us out of here.”

_Just close your eyes each loving day (each loving day)  
And know this feeling won't go away (no)  
Every word I say is true  
This I promise you_

“Don’t promise things you can’t deliver on,” a voice on Steve’s left sneered.  
“You won’t get away with this,” Bucky said. “The Avengers will find us and they’ll destroy you and the rest of Hydra.”  
“Will they?” their captor shifted into Steve’s line of sight, greeting him with a smile. “Hello there, Captain America. Miss me?”


	4. It's Gonna Be Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Video for It's Gonna Be Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQMlWwIXg3M

“Reeh smmff,” Steve tried to talk, forgetting about the obstruction in his mouth. He couldn’t quite believe that Red Skull was standing in front of him, but then he quickly remembered that he had thought Bucky was dead for a long time too.  
“Oh good, you remember me,” Red Skull said. “I’ve missed you, you know. Once I figured out how to get back to Earth, I spent the better part of the last century trying to recreate you and your friend here. But now that I have you, I don’t have to waste any time on failed experiments again.”

_Every little thing I do  
Never seems enough for you  
You don't want to lose it again  
But I'm not like them_

“Not that it matters since we’re going to wipe your mind. Then we’ll reprogram you like we do all the time for your friend Barnes over there. I’ll have two super soldiers at my disposal, and ones the world trusts at that.” Red Skull cackled. He hovered over Steve’s face and stared into his eyes. “You’re mine, Rogers. And you’re going to love it.”

_You've got no choice, babe  
But to move on, and you know  
There ain't no time to waste_

Steve tried to break out of the machine but the harder he fought, the tighter his restraints became. A brunette in a white lab coat adjusted the dials on a nearby switchboard and everything went black again.

_So just you're just too blind, to see  
But in the end, ya know it's gonna be me_

When Steve came to, he was lying on the floor. He tried to sit up, quickly realizing he was in a strait jacket. He was in a cylindrical glass containment, not unlike the one on the helicarrier. The machine was about a hundred meters away and Bucky was in it. Steve tried to break free but his limbs were like jelly. He heard a faint beeping and the chambered filled up with some sort of gas, causing Steve to lose consciousness again.

_You can't deny  
So just tell me why  
Every little thing I do  
Never seems enough for you_

He found himself in the seat again. The cycle repeated itself, seat, chamber, gas, seat, chamber—Steve had lost count of how many times he had gone through it. Sometimes he would wake in the chamber to Bucky’s screaming, but he wouldn’t be lucid enough to actually see Bucky. He was sore all over and he wasn’t sure the last time he had anything to drink. He supposed they were keeping him alive, so maybe they were feeding him while he was unconscious. Or perhaps they were wiping his memories after meals. Steve began to doubt himself.

_You don't want to lose it again  
But I'm not like them  
Baby, when you finally  
Get to love somebody (somebody)  
Guess what (guess what)  
It's gonna be me_

“What is taking so long?” Steve heard Red Skull’s voice echoing through the lab. “You got Barnes in three tries.”  
“The Winter Soldier had been calibrated much more recently,” a female voice said. “We had to undo many more years of Rogers’ memories.”  
“How much longer?” Red Skull asked.  
“Ten more cycles should suffice,” she said.  
“How many days, you buffoon?”  
“If we expedite the schedule, he should be ready in five days,” she stammered.  
“You have four.”

_There comes a day  
When I'll be the one, you'll see  
It's gonna-gonna-gonna-gonna  
It's gonna be me_


	5. (God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Video for God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fxh7jAJR8U

Natasha walked into the control room with a large coffee cup and placed it down in front of Maria.  
“You should get some rest,” Natasha said. “When was the last time you slept?”  
Maria took a sip of the venti triple espresso macchiato before answering, “I don’t need sleep.”  
“Your hands are shaking,” Natasha said. “Go. You’re no good in your current state.”  
Maria shut her eyes briefly, then opened them and stood up. “You’re right.” She turned but Natasha placed a hand on hers.  
“Leave the coffee.”

Maria lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. It had been two weeks since the explosions and losing Steve and Bucky at the Statue of Liberty. Normally, they would have located a target by now, but even with all of SHIELD and Tony’s resources at hand, they were nowhere to be found.

_Can this be true?_  
_Tell me, can this be real?_  
 _How can I put into words what I feel?_

It started with Steve not responding to the comm after all the civilians were cleared. Natasha ran down to the statue to try to find them. There was nothing. No indication of anyone else leaving the premises, nothing that the satellites picked up. Sam and Scott searched through the debris. Then Tony and Rhodey joined in. When Vision and Wanda both confirmed that they did not sense Steve or Bucky in the vicinity, that’s when their search and rescue effort became real.

_My life was complete_  
_I thought I was whole_  
 _Why do I feel like I'm losing control?_

Maria rolled onto her side and saw the bottle of bourbon that Steve had gotten her for Christmas.

**Avengers Tower, four months ago.**

Maria checked her phone again; no new messages. Fedor started teaching night classes this semester and said he would text her when his class got out. His class should have ended at 9 and it was now 10:30. It was the third week in a row that this had happened and she all but gave up hope he’d reach out. Her attempts of getting together with him the past few weekends had been thwarted by Hydra attacks.

It would be so easy to drop by his campus, only a few blocks away, and run into him after his classes, but Maria was determined to play this one right. She didn’t even run a full background check on him. Natasha did, and deemed him harmless. He didn’t run the first chance he got after discovering her involvement with SHIELD and the Avengers. In fact, he was the first guy in a really long time who didn’t seem fazed by her line of work. He even joked once that maybe he should join Hydra so he could get to see her on the weekends.

Maria walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, popping the cap before taking a sip.  
“Hey,” Steve greeted, plopping two pies on the granite counter. “I thought you were going out?”  
“I thought so too,” Maria replied, salivating at the smell of the pizza wafting through the air. “Where’s Barnes? Isn’t Tuesdays your movie nights?”  
“He bailed last minute. Had training with Natasha,” Steve said, grabbing some plates out of the cabinet. “Want a slice? I’ve got _The Big Lebowski_ queued up if you feel like keeping a senior citizen company.”  
“Thought you’d never ask!” Maria grabbed a few more beers from the fridge while Steve carried the pizza and plates out to the common area.  
“So are they training or training?” Maria asked with a cocked eyebrow.  
“Wha--” Steve furrowed his brows then his eyes widened. “Are you--you mean--Buck and Nat??”  
“The walls have ears,” Maria smirked, “and eyes.”  
“You’ve--seen?”  
“Oh dear god, no,” Maria laughed. “But JARVIS gives me daily reports on things that seem out of place, like former assassins spending unusual amounts of time in utility closets and other random places.”  
Steve bit his bottom lip and shook his head. “This is the third time he’s canceled on me.” Steve laughed.  
“Welcome to the club,” Maria raised her beer bottle.

_In all of creation, all things great and small_  
_You are the one that surpasses them all_  
 _More precious than any diamond or pearl_  
 _They broke the mold when you came in this world_

“Well thank you for hanging out with this old timer tonight,” Steve said. He had walked Maria back to her room.  
“No, thank you!” Maria said. “It was a nice relaxing night.”  
“I hope Fedor calls you with a really good life or death story tomorrow,” Steve said.  
“He probably just got tired after teaching and went home,” Maria said. “I should just stop making plans with him on Tuesday nights.”  
“He’s a fool for standing you up,” Steve said, slipping his hands into his front pockets with a shrug.  
“Thanks, Steve. That’s really sweet,” Maria said. “Well, this is me.” She gestured towards her door.  
“So it is.” He nodded, smiling towards the floor.  
“Goodnight, Steve,” she reached up and wrapped one arm around his shoulder, giving him a light hug.

_And I'm trying hard to figure out_  
_Just how I ever did without_  
 _The warmth of your smile_  
 _The heart of a child_  
 _That's deep inside_  
 _Leaves me purified_

After that, Tuesday nights were pizza nights. One day, they ran out of beer so Maria broke out her whiskey collection. Even when they had missions on Tuesdays, they made it a point to at least grab a nightcap together before retiring to their respective beds.

_Never thought that love could feel like this_  
_And you've changed my world with just one kiss_  
 _How can it be that right here with me_  
 _There's an angel?_  
 _It's a miracle_

Maria sauntered into the common room, waving a bottle around. “Hey Steve, you’ll never guess what I found at the store--Bucky!”  
“Maria!” Bucky flashed a smile. “Joining us for movie night?”  
“You found Bucky at the store?” Steve asked, confused, placing pizzas and plates on the coffee table.  
“You mean you’re joining us for movie night, Barnes,” Maria said. “You haven’t been to a movie night in two months! And you’re in my seat. Scooch.”  
“No way! This is the best seat in the house!” Bucky smirked, leaning back and spreading his knees to take up more room on the lounge chair. Maria eyed him. If it were anyone else, she’d flip him out of the seat herself. Bucky had the advantage of being faster and more experienced.  
“Steve, are you going to allow this?” Maria turned towards the bar and bumped right into Steve.  
He caught her, steadying her to her feet. Their eyes locked and she couldn’t help the goofy smile plastered across her face.

_Your love is like a river_  
_Peaceful and deep_  
 _Your soul is like a secret_  
 _That I never could keep_  
 _When I look into your eyes_  
 _I know that it's true_  
 _God must have spent a little more time on you_

“Buck, give the lady her seat,” Steve commanded, eyes still trained on Maria.  
Bucky’s eyes widened, trying to suppress a laugh. “Lady?! You know she can kill us in our sleep, right?”  
“Don’t you forget that, Barnes.” Maria reached over Steve’s shoulders and grabbed three glasses before cracking open the bottle.  
“What are we watching anyway?” Bucky asked.  
“Well, it’s Halloween, so we found this movie about witches called _The Covenant_ ,” Steve replied.


	6. I Want You Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=is6gtilerPk

“C’mon boys, where did they take you?” Natasha thought out loud. She scanned the various screens in front of her, trying to find an anomaly in the data, maybe something Maria missed. She checked the energy scans of Liberty Island again. She must have analyzed them at least a dozen times. There was nothing that indicated where they had gone. It was as if they had vanished into thin air. She ran the facial recognition software again, hoping to catch a Hydra agent in action.

_You're all I ever wanted  
You're all I ever needed, yeah  
So tell me what to do now  
'Cause I want you back_

**Russia, 2004.**

An older woman with white hair sat in a red upholstered high backed chair. Behind her was a wall of mirrors, each a different size and frame. She took a sip from a tea cup before placing it on the table in front of her.  
“Natalia,” she said, “you are ready to complete training.”  
Natasha nodded once to affirm.  
“This is Winter,” the older woman said. “He will be your last test.”  
The Winter Soldier walked into the Red Room in full combat gear.

_It's hard to say I'm sorry  
It's hard to make the things I did undone  
A lesson I've learned too well, for sure  
So don't hang up the phone now  
I'm trying to figure out just what to do  
I'm going crazy without you_

Natasha blocked his punch but he pulled her into a choke hold. She tapped his arm twice, and he released her.  
“Again,” he grunted.  
Before she got into a fighting stance, he swept her feet, knocking her to the ground. His metal forearm was on her windpipe. She held his gaze longer than most people would be comfortable with and he let her go.  
“Again,” he grunted.

_Baby I remember  
The way you used to look at me and say  
Promises never last forever  
I told you not to worry  
I said that everything would be all right  
I didn't know then that you were right_

**The Kingdom of Wakanda, two years ago.**

Natasha walked up to the glass and stared at Bucky. He looked so peaceful, serene.  
“Remember,” T’Challa said, “he might need some time to readjust after he comes out of hibernation.”  
“I have a little experience with that,” Steve chuckled.  
T’Challa nodded and Bucky’s cryogenic chamber opened. Bucky’s eyes opened and squinted, adjusting to the light.  
“Give him some space,” T’Challa said.  
“Buck?” Steve said.  
Bucky looked around, taking in his surroundings. The first face he locked onto was hers. Natasha gulped, turning her feet into a defensive stance in case Bucky attacked.  
“Natalia,” he whispered.

_You're all I ever wanted  
(You're the one I want)  
You're all I ever needed  
(You're the one I need)  
So tell me what to do now  
(Tell me, what can I do)  
When I want you back_

**Avengers Tower, eight months ago.**

“Steve would be a better sparring partner. He can at least match your strength,” Natasha said.  
“You match my strength just fine,” Bucky said. “Besides, I like your fighting style better.”  
“Dirty?” Natasha smirked before trying to kick him in the knees.  
“You don’t hold back,” Bucky said, taking a jab at her but missing.  
“What do you remember of Russia?” She had wanted to ask for a long time. Bucky flipped her onto the mat, his metal forearm on her throat.  
“I remember all of it,” he whispered.  
Natasha grabbed his shirt and rolled him over, straddling him. She leaned in close, studying his eyes, wondering if the same Winter Soldier she had loved so many years ago was still in him. “Show me,” she said.

_You're all I ever wanted  
You're all I ever needed, yeah  
So tell me what to do now  
When I want you back_

Natasha searched various databases for any information that would help identify who took Steve and Bucky, when the computer beeped. Face recognition picked up several Hydra agents on a barge near the island on New Year’s Eve. Recent satellite footage showed the same men going through the airport in Rome. She scoured the manifests and concluded that they got on a private jet to a small island southwest of Malta. Scanning more satellite images, she gasped when she saw a man with a bright red face.  
“JARVIS, tell everyone wheels up in fifteen. I found them,” Natasha said.


	7. Pop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWZKw_MgUPI

Natasha holstered her favorite guns and sheathed two more knives into her boots.   
“We’re still in stealth mode. There’s no good place to land except the field, and that’s probably a trap, so we’re going to have to drop in,” Maria said. “Barton, make sure you don’t get too close to the rocks on that cliff.”  
“Wait, what?” Clint said.  
“You’re taking over,” Maria said, getting up from the pilot’s seat.  
“Where are you going?” Clint asked.  
“In.”

_Sick and tired of hearing all these people talk about  
What's the deal with this spy life and when is it gonna fade out  
The thing you got to realize, what we doing is not a trend  
We got great responsibility, we gonna bring it 'til the end_

“How are there absolutely no insects in a one mile radius from here?” Scott complained, waiting behind Natasha to jump off the quinjet. “What kind of crazy sci-fi place is this?”  
“I’ve deactivated the security system,” Hope said. “We’re good to go.”

_It doesn't matter,  
'bout the jet I fly or the knife around my neck  
All that matters,  
Is that you recognize that it’s just about respect  
It doesn't matter,  
About the clothes I wear and where I go and why  
All that matters,  
Is that you get hyped 'cause we'll save the world every time_

“The east entrance is down and we’re going in,” Tony said. “We could probably use some muscle, some angry green muscle.”  
Natasha and Maria got through the entrance. Pietro halted in front of them.  
“Two levels down, there are two cells on opposite ends of the building. I took care of the guards, but you’ll need something stronger than those to get them out.” Pietro nodded at their guns. “Gotta find Red Skull.” Pietro dashed away.

_Do you ever wonder why, this mission gets you high?  
It takes you on a ride, feel it when your body starts to rock  
(your body starts to rock)  
Baby you can't stop  
(you can't stop),  
And the fight is all you got, come on now_

Natasha and Maria walked out on the level Pietro indicated. The place was eerily quiet. Scott and Sam followed closely behind. Emergency strobe lights flashed, illuminating the hallway every ten seconds. A few steps in and they found Bucky sedated on the floor of a cell. Natasha looked for a way to unlock the door, but it was electronically controlled. She was about to take her gun to it when Scott stopped her.  
“Allow me,” he said, shrinking and disappearing into the contraption. A few seconds later, smoke came out of the unit and the door to the cell slid open.  
Natasha and Sam helped Bucky up while Maria and Scott ran down the hallway to find Steve.

“Red Skull left us some booby traps. One of them just took out the foundation on the west side. Wanda is doing her best to hold it together, but it’s crumbling fast. Hurry,” Tony said.  
A blood curling scream came from down the hall. When they got to Steve’s cell, he was punching the wall.  
“Steve!” Maria called out.  
Steve turned and lunged at them with a snarl. He repeatedly punched the glass containment, blows glancing without causing any damage  
“I’m not sure Cap’s quite all there right now,” Scott said.  
Maria holstered her pistol and pulled out two other guns, pointing them at Steve.  
“Ready when you are,” she said.  
Scott shrunk and deactivated the lock, opening the glass containment. Steve was yelling incoherently, eyes bloodshot. Maria shot a tranquilizer dart into his chest and then tased him when he lunged at them again. The deterrents had minimal effect; Steve lifted Maria off the ground by her neck and threw her across the room. Scott gave him a few swift kicks to the back, but that didn’t bother Steve in the least.  
Thor burst through the failing wall, quickly assessing the situation.  
“I am sorry I have to do this, my friend, but you are not yourself,” he said before punching Steve in the face, knocking him out.  
Tony and Rhodey came through the opening in the wall and picked up Maria and Scott, respectively. Thor threw Steve over his shoulder and pointed Mjolnir in the direction of the quinjet.


	8. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbRwSI8yi1o

Sam knocked on the door, waking Maria.  
"I brought some lunch," he said, holding up a tray of food.  
"Hey, thanks." She straightened up in her chair, positioning the hospital table in between them with her right hand; her left arm was in a sling.   
"Have you been outside? It's gorgeous for the first day of spring," he said.  
"I went for a walk around the park this morning," she replied.  
"That's good!" Sam encouraged.  
"He's still the same," she said, touching Steve's arm. He lay peacefully on the hospital bed, machines hissing and beeping quietly around him.  
"I know," Sam nodded, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It's not your fault."  
"I know," Maria looked away, "but I still feel helpless. There's nothing I can do to help him heal."  
"Everyone's doing their best," Sam said.  
"But is it enough?"  
"It has to be," he said.

_There's a thousand words that I could say  
To make you come home  
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away  
Left me alone_

Steve opened his eyes. The room looked sterile, reminded him of the hospital. “Yes, folks you heard it here first. Branch Rickey, the president and general manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers has signed Jackie Robinson to their international league club, the Montreal Royals. The international league has not had a black player since…” Steve looked around the room and saw the radio.

"You're awake." Steve sat up at the sound of the familiar accent.  
"Peggy? What--what happened?" Steve searched her eyes for answers.  
"You did it," she said. "You destroyed Red Skull and the tesseract. It took Howard almost six months, but we found you in the Arctic. You were nearly frozen over."  
“You kept searching, after all this time?”  
She took his hand in hers. “Of course. You owe me a dance.”

_I remember what you said to me  
You were acting so strange  
and maybe I was too blind to see  
That you needed a change_

“I now pronounce you Mister and Missus Steven Grant Rogers. You may kiss the bride,” Colonel Phillips said.  
Before Steve even lifted Peggy’s veil, she tugged on his uniform, pulling him into her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and fell into her kiss.

_Was it something I said  
To make you turn away?  
To make you walk out and leave me cold_

Steve lay on a checkered blanket on a grassy field, basking in the warmth of the afternoon sun. Peggy leaned against him, running her hand through his hair.   
“Daddy! Daddy!” a little blonde boy ran up to them. “Look what Uncle Howard brought me!”  
“What is it Jamie?” Steve asked, ruffling his son’s hair. “It’s a baseball bat signed by Babe Ruth!”  
“That must have cost a fortune,” Peggy said.  
“I’m going to go play with Tony,” Jamie said. “He has a new invention he wants to try out.”  
“Tony?” Something about the mention of Howard’s son made Steve uneasy.  
“And Maria wants you to wake up now,” Jamie said.

_If I could just find a way  
To make it so that you were right here  
But right now._

Steve woke up in another hospital bed. The sun was low on the horizon. A dark haired woman stood in the doorway, talking to someone on the other side.  
“Peggy?” Steve asked.  
Maria turned around and gasped. “Steve! You’re awake!” She rushed to his side and squeezed his left hand, blinking back tears. Bruce walked over to his other side and checked Steve’s vitals.  
“Who--who are you?” Steve asked. “Where’s my wife, Peggy?”  
Maria choked back a sob. Natasha came in and quickly escorted her out of the room.  
“Captain Rogers, I’m Dr. Bruce Banner. How are you feeling?”

_I've been sitting here  
Can't get you off my mind  
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong  
I drove myself insane  
Wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains  
You're gone_

Bucky wheeled Steve to the outdoor patio, overlooking a high school baseball field. They all agreed that it was probably best to let Steve recover in somewhat familiar settings, so Tony bought a co-op building in Brooklyn and gave them several floors. Having Bucky around was a tremendous help in re-assimilating Steve back to the modern day. Some memories came quicker than others and Sam was there to fill in the gaps that Bucky had missed. But even Bucky couldn’t soften the blow of the news of Peggy’s death and Steve’s attendance at a funeral he didn’t remember.

_I don't wanna make excuses, baby  
Won't change the fact that you're gone  
But if there's something that I could do  
Won't you please let me know?_

The memories of a family life with Peggy were still so fresh that Steve couldn’t accept that they were figments of his imagination. He had even read up on Peggy’s life, got reacquainted with the Sousa children and grandchildren, but nothing filled the void. Days blended into each other and with no purpose, Steve didn’t bother to keep track. He only ate if Bucky and Sam harped on him and groomed when he absolutely had to, which was usually for Nat and Maria’s weekly visits. Bit by bit, memories would come back to him, but he questioned whether they were real or just his mind playing tricks on him again.

_The time is passing so slowly now  
Guess that's my life without you  
and maybe I could change my every day  
But baby I don't want to  
So I'll just hang around  
and find some things to do  
To take my mind off missing you  
and I know in my heart  
You can't say that you don't love me too  
Please say you do_

Bucky walked into Avengers Tower and hit the elevator button for his floor. When the doors opened, he was surprised to see Maria walk out with a rolling luggage.  
“Hey Maria! You haven't been by in a few weeks,” Bucky greeted. “Where ya headed?”  
“Coulson could use a hand, so I offered. It’s not like they really need me around here anyway. Pepper and JARVIS have everything under control,” Maria replied. “Good to see you, Barnes.”  
He stopped her before she walked through the door.  
“He’s going to remember you. All those care packages that you put together are really helping,” Bucky said. “Dr. Banner and T’Challa’s team are pretty sure his memories are all still there. He just needs time to process them. It’s like me. The memories eventually all come back.”  
Maria nodded.  
“Don’t leave without saying bye to him, please,” Bucky pleaded.

_Oh, what will I do  
If I can't be with you  
Tell me where will I turn to  
Baby where will I be  
Now that we are apart  
Am I still in your heart?_

“Steve, you should shower and put on some fresh clothes,” Bucky said. “We’re having visitors later.”  
“Natasha already visited on Sunday. It’s Tuesday,” Steve protested.  
“Yes, and we used to have a tradition where we ordered pizzas and watched movies on Tuesdays,” Bucky said. “With Maria. Do you remember her?”  
“Agent Hill,” Steve recited blandly. “She handles Tony’s operations.”  
“Yes,” Bucky said. “She’s also a friend. A very close friend. You two were--good friends. On and off the field.”  
Steve stared at Bucky blankly. “She hasn’t been by in a while.”  
The doorbell rang.  
“That must be Maria with the pizza. At least go change into something clean,” Bucky insisted.

_Baby why don't you see?  
That I need you here with me_

Movie night was every bit as awkward as Maria had expected. Natasha, Bruce, and Betty joining them did nothing to alleviate the heaviness in the air. It was obvious to her that Steve really wanted nothing to do with movie night.

_Been sitting here  
Can't get you off my mind  
I've tried my best to be strong_

“Well that’s a cliffhanger if I ever saw one!” Bucky said enthusiastically. “Ok, quick bathroom break and then we’ll start The Return of the King!”  
“Bucky, thanks for putting all of this together, but I really should get going,” Maria said, slipping her trench coat on. “I’ve got an early flight and I still have a few things to pack.”  
“But--but you can’t leave now! This is the best one!” Bucky stalled.  
“I’ve seen it,” Maria said. “With you. I know how it ends. But thank you.” She gave Bucky a hug and a peck on the cheek. “For everything.” She bid her farewells to the rest of the gang.  
“You take care of yourself out there,” Natasha said. “I don’t have time to go save your ass.”  
“I’m pretty sure you still owe me a few times,” Maria said, forcing a smile. “Take care, Captain Rogers,” she held her hand out and Steve shook it.  
“Good luck, Agent Hill,” Steve mustered.

_I drove myself insane  
Wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains  
You're gone._

The gang waited by the door while Maria called for the elevator. When the doors opened, the last person she had expected to see stood behind them.  
“Maria? Maria Hill? Oh my god, it’s been like what, almost a year? Fancy running into you here! This is my wife, Tracy. Tracy, this is Maria, she works with the Avengers!”  
Steve’s ears burned at the familiar male voice.  
Maria got into the elevator and as the doors closed, Steve stole a peek over Bucky’s shoulders.  
“Fedor?” the name rolled off Steve’s tongue.


	9. Tearin' Up My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRKiftk6ffQ

Maria decided to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge to get back to Manhattan. She figured she wouldn’t get to see the cityscape for a few months, so might as well enjoy the brisk fall weather while she could. Running into Fedor was the salt on the proverbial wound. And he was married. Maria laughed loudly to herself, scaring two touristy passersby to cross the street. She walked aimlessly and found herself in front of the ice skating rink at Rockefeller Center.

_It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you  
But when we are apart, I feel it too  
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain  
with or without you _

**Rockefeller Center, January 2014.**

“What do you mean you’ve never ice skated at Rockefeller Center?” Steve was incredulous. “My buddy, Bucky, and I used to sneak in at night after they closed! I almost broke my ankle a couple of times.” He laughed, taking her hand and pulling her in the direction of the box office.  
“Two please,” he said, pulling his wallet out. “Do you know your skates size?”  
“Steve, what are you doing?” Maria asked.  
“We’re going skating!” It was rare that Maria saw Steve with that much enthusiasm or speak of his pre-war days, so she indulged him.  
Steve got onto the ice and offered Maria a hand.  
“I can skate. I played hockey for years.” She whizzed past him backwards.  
“Oh, it’s like that, huh?” Steve laughed, racing up to catch her.

_Baby don't mis-understand (don't misunderstand)  
What I'm trying to tell ya  
In the corner of my mind (corner of my mind)  
Baby, it feels like we are running out of time _

Commotion down below snapped Maria back to the present. A woman just got down on one knee and proposed to her girlfriend. The outcome seemed positive, judging by the applause and cheers.

_Let it go  
If you want me girl, let me know  
I am down on my knees  
I can't take it anymore..ohhh _

Maria did a final once over of her room in the tower before closing the door. She had found Steve’s brown leather jacket in her closet and decided to leave it in his old room. Knowing no one was on the other side, she knocked on the door anyway. The room had a feeling of abandonment, of not having been occupied in a while. She placed the jacket on the bed, next to his tactical suit.  
“Goodbye, Steve,” she said before turning off the lights and shutting the door.

_It's tearin' up my heart (tearin' up my heart and soul) when I'm with you  
But when we are apart, I feel it too (we're apart I feel it too)  
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain  
with or without you _


	10. Thinking of You (I Drive Myself Crazy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZi_7t__cJk

"Wanda, you have to do it," Steve said. "Please, show me my greatest fear."  
"Steve, it's too dangerous." Wanda shook her head.  
"You've done it once. What's the big deal?"  
"Fears change over time," Wanda replied. "If you get in too deep, you might not wake up."  
"What else have I got to lose?"  
"Steve, I really want to help, but I can't do that," she said.  
“What about--can you help me sort out my memories?” Steve pleaded.  
“It’s not that easy. I can’t pick and choose what you see,” Wanda said. “What I can do is help you get some peaceful sleep.”

Steve lay down on the couch and closed his eyes. Wanda waved her hands over him.

Steve was on the checkered blanket in the grassy field again. An older Peggy was sitting across from him, drinking a glass of wine.  
“Peggy,” Steve whispered.  
“Steve, you’ve got to keep living your life,” she said, taking his hand.  
“It’s really hard without you,” he said.  
“But you’ve got Bucky and so many new friends,” Peggy said.  
“It’s not the same,” he looked down.  
“It’s never going to be the same, but it’s your choice to make a new life. Stop wallowing in your self-pity. It’s been months. At least shave off that awful beard,” she said.  
Steve laughed. “Mrs. Wu from the grocer’s called it the lumbersexual look.”  
“I don’t care what it’s called. You look like you belong in a mountain cave, living with a bear,” she said.  
“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Steve said, eliciting a laugh out of her. “I guess this is goodbye.”  
“It is, but you know I’ll always be with you.” She reached over and embraced him.

_Lying in your arms, so close together  
Didn't know just what I had  
Now I toss and turn  
'Cause I'm without you  
How I'm missing you so bad  
Where was my head? Where was my heart?  
Now I cry alone in the dark_

Steve found himself in the middle of an industrial building. He heard gunfire in the distance.  
“Level one is clear,” Natasha said.  
“I’m blocked,” Maria’s voice came into his earpiece. “I’m going to try the roof.”  
Steve ran towards the nearest window.

On the roof, Maria took down three Hydra goons while defending her position. Steve knocked down three more guys on the way to her.  
“It’s too high to jump down. We need rope,” Maria shouted.  
Steve took one look down the side of the building.  
“Do you trust me?” he asked.  
“What?!” she wasn’t sure she heard him correctly.  
He looked her in the eyes, held his hand out, and repeated, “Do you trust me?”  
Maria followed his lead. He took a carabiner from his belt and looped it on to hers. He took her in one hand and covered them with the shield in his other before launching the both of them off the roof.

_I lie awake, I drive myself crazy  
Drive myself crazy thinking of you  
Made a mistake when I let you go, baby  
I drive myself crazy   
Wanting you the way that I do (Wanting you the way that I do)_

**Last year, Valentine’s Day.**

“Hey, remember that exhibit you wanted to check out at the MOMA?” Steve asked over the phone.  
“Yeah, the laser show to Tchaikovsky?” Maria replied.  
“Today is apparently the last day for it,” he said.  
“Oh no! What a bummer,” she said.  
Steve couldn’t stand the disappointment in her voice, so he blurted, “What are you doing tonight?”  
“Um, well,” she hesitated. “Nothing, actually.”  
“How about you meet me there around seven?” he asked.  
“Sure,” Maria said. “Sounds like a plan. Maybe we could grab dinner afterwards.”

_I was such a fool, I couldn't see it  
Just how good you were to me (Just how good you were to me)  
You confessed your love (You confessed your love)  
Undying devotion  
I confessed my need to be free  
And now I'm left with all this pain   
I've only got myself to blame_

“I don’t know if she likes roses,” Steve said.  
“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Mrs. Wu responded. “What girl doesn’t like roses?”  
“She’s not like any girl,” Steve said.  
“Then, how about lilies?” Mrs. Wu suggested.  
“Those are very pretty, but they look fragile,” Steve said.  
“Ok, I make a bouquet,” Mrs. Wu said. “Trust me.”

_I lie awake, I drive myself crazy  
Drive myself crazy thinking of you  
Made a mistake when I let you go baby   
I drive myself crazy  
Wanting you the way that I do (Wanting you the way that I do)_

Steve silently cursed himself for taking so long to choose a card. He was going to just make it to the museum on time if he ran.  
“EEIIIIIIAAAAHHHH!” a shriek came from down the street. “He stole my purse!”  
Steve looked in the direction of the screaming and immediately spotted the criminal. He ran down five blocks before tackling the guy down. Two police officers on horses arrived at the scene right after Steve accosted the miscreant.  
“Thanks, Cap, we got it from here,” one of the officers said.  
Steve nodded and handed the guy over to local law enforcement.

_Why didn't I know it (How much I loved you baby)  
Why couldn't I show it (If I had only told you)  
When I had the chance  
Oh, I had the chance_

Steve got to the MOMA at half past seven. He only thought of texting her when was a block away. She wasn’t at the entrance, so he went inside, figuring she was waiting there.

The laser show was on the main level of the museum; it was the first thing you saw after going through the ticketing area. It looked as though the lasers were waltzing along to the music. He couldn’t help but smile when he spotted Maria on the far side of the room, by herself. She was wearing an elegant black dress and her hair fell in curls around her face. Steve suddenly wished he had worn a tie. He looked down and grimaced; the bouquet was destroyed when he tackled that thief. He deposited the broken flowers into the nearest trash can.

As he was about to cross the room to her, he saw a guy approach her. Steve stopped in his tracks and watched the interaction. They didn’t seem to know each other, but she didn’t seem to mind him. He said something and she laughed in response. Steve felt a knot in his stomach and his feet were like lead. He might have forgotten to breathe if not for someone bumping into him, breaking him from his trance. Maria was still talking to this guy, so Steve texted her quickly, giving some excuse about not feeling well and left.

_I lie awake, I drive myself crazy (I drive myself crazy)  
Drive myself crazy, crazy, crazy  
Made a mistake, let you go baby   
I drive myself crazy  
Wanting you the way that I do  
I drive myself crazy   
Wanting you the way that I do_

Maria’s phone buzzed. Steve finally got in touch.  
“Sorry, I won’t make it after all. I’m under the weather. Please forgive me.”  
Maria sighed.  
“Everything ok?” the guy she had just met asked.  
“Yeah, no. My friend just bailed on me,” she said.  
“Oh, that sucks,” he said.  
“A little,” Maria agreed.  
“I’m Fedor, by the way.”  
“Nice to meet you, Fedor. I’m Maria.”


	11. I'll Never Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhwj_zb77fU

**Avengers Tower, present day (early December).**

A clean-shaven Steve stared at the blank piece of paper in front of him. He picked up the pen and scribbled the date on the top right corner. On the top left, he wrote "Dear Agent Hill."  
"Too formal," he mumbled, shaking his head. He crumpled the sheet with one hand and tossed it over his head behind him, where a small pile of paper balls had accumulated.  
He again wrote the date on the top right corner. "Dear Maria," he started.

"Pietro took me to a whiskey tasting today and I thought of you."

He didn't know how to convey that his memories had all returned. He was more mortified by the amount of physical harm he did to her when he was under Hydra's spell. Then, the way he treated her after he woke up was cold and cruel. He was sure there was no way she would forgive him. It's probably why she chose to go away.

_Oh yeah  
I'll never stop  
I don't know, will you believe me  
After all is said and done  
All the lies, how I regret them baby  
Now, I am the loser  
And you're shining like the sun  
Tell me why can't I still be the one, alright_

“You know they have email nowadays, right? Even text messaging,” Bucky said, leaning on the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest.  
“I don’t know what to say to her,” Steve said, slumping over his desk.  
“Well, you should figure it out soon, cuz she’s back in town,” Bucky said.  
“Really? When?” Steve asked.

_I'll never stop  
How could I ever  
When my heart is in your hands  
And I know, baby there is no turning back  
They say that I'm crazy  
And I kind of understand  
How I wish for this nightmare to end_

“Hey boys, miss me?” Maria snuck up behind Bucky.  
“Hey, Maria!” Bucky turned around and greeted her with a hug, picking her up off the floor.  
Steve got up and joined them at the doorway.  
“Hey Steve,” Maria said.  
“Hey, welcome home!” Steve said, giving her a hug. He didn’t realize he had associated a scent with her until the notes of lemon and charcoal hit him and he melted in her arms.

_Oh yes  
I will never stop  
Until you're mine  
I can wait forever, till the end of time  
'Cause my heart is in your hands  
Don't you understand  
I'll never stop_

Bucky cleared his throat loudly and Maria pulled away from Steve’s embrace.  
“I’m taking Nat out for dinner, so you guys need to fend for yourselves,” Bucky said.  
“It’s three in the afternoon,” Maria said. “What time is dinner?”  
“Eight,” Bucky said, “but I have to get ready.”  
“His grooming process takes forever,” Steve said, rolling his eyes.  
“Hey, at least I groom!” Bucky spat back.  
“I’m not hungry yet,” Maria said.  
“How bout you settle in and then grab a coffee with Steve to catch up?” Bucky suggested.  
“Oh! There’s a great new coffee shop around the corner,” Steve said, catching the drift.  
“Sounds good. Let me drop my bags off,” Maria said, going to pick her bags back up.  
“Please, allow me,” Steve grabbed her bags with one arm and gestured towards her room. “After you.”


	12. Music of My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Video for Music of My Heart with Gloria Estefan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blz-npEbOHA

Steve opened the door to Nadine’s Cafe for Maria.  
“Hey Steve! Your usual?” Nadine called out from behind the counter.  
“Hi Nadine, yes, my usual please,” Steve greeted. “This is, uh, my friend, Maria.”  
“Hi Maria,” Nadine chirped. “How do you like your coffee?”  
“Strong and dark, thanks,” Maria replied with a smile.  
Steve guided Maria to a booth by the front window.  
“This is cozy!” Maria slid in.  
“Yeah,” Steve said. His heart was beating a mile a minute and his palms were a little sweaty, but he also felt grounded having her back, having her so close again.

_You'll never know  
What you've done for me  
What your faith in me  
Has done for my soul  
And you'll never know the gift you've given me  
I'll carry it with me  
Yeah yeah_

“So you ended up in Morocco?” Steve asked.  
“That was after the stint in waaaay north Canada,” Maria said. “Coulson only needed me for two weeks. I ended up assignment hopping after that. It was good though; I did some soul searching. But I like to spend the holidays where there is snow, so I came home.”  
“I’m glad you’re back.” Steve reached over and squeezed her hand.  
“What have you been up to?” she asked.  
“Tuesday nights have been kind of boring without you,” Steve admitted, hand still on hers. “Nadine runs a knitting group here on Tuesdays. I’ve gotten pretty good,” Steve shrugged.  
“I’m glad you’re doing better,” Maria said.  
“There’s so much I have to tell you,” Steve blurted.

_Through the days ahead I'll think of days before  
You made me hope for something better (yes you did)  
And made me reach for something more_

Coffee turned to dinner to more coffee as Nadine kept bringing them food and drinks. Before they knew it, the cafe was closing up and they were still deep in conversation.  
“Up for taking a walk?” Steve asked.  
“Yeah, I think we’ve been sitting for a long time now.” Maria laughed.

They made it down to the High Line when it started to flurry.  
“I need to apologize,” Steve said. “I--I wasn’t myself.”  
“Steve, it wasn’t your fault.” Maria placed a hand on his chest, stopping him in his tracks.  
“No, but I still drove you away,” Steve took her hands in his.  
“That was me,” Maria shook her head. “I couldn’t stand seeing you like that, but that’s weakness on my part. That’s not your fault.”  
“I know we can’t fix the past,” Steve said, “but do you think we can move forward?”  
“We can always try.” Maria smiled. She laced her hand with his and continued walking along the path.

_You taught me to run  
You taught me to fly  
Helped me to free the me inside  
Helped me hear the music of my heart  
Helped me hear the music of my heart_

By the time they got back to the tower, the flurries had turned into a full blown storm, with about an inch accumulation already on the ground.  
“That was a really fun night. Thanks,” Maria said.  
“You’re welcome,” Steve said. “I didn’t do much. Mother Nature fulfilled your wish of snow.”  
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Maria said, leaning in, brushing her lips gently against his.

_You were the one  
Always on my side (always on my side)  
Always standing by (always standing by)  
Seeing me through  
You were the song that always made me sing  
I'm singing this for you (singing this for you baby)  
Everywhere I go I'll think of where I've been (think of where I've been)  
And you're the one who knew me better than anyone ever will again_

“Have you seen Steve lately? I feel like I haven’t seen him in days,” Bucky said. “I’ve stopped by his room several times, and he’s been MIA.”  
“He’s been with Maria.” Natasha replied without looking up from her tablet. “I saw them at breakfast this morning. You should try getting out of bed before ten sometimes.”  
“I’m jetlagged from the Siberian mission,” Bucky whined.

_What you taught me  
Only your love could ever teach me  
You got through when no one else could reach me (baby oh oh oh)  
'Cause you always saw in me  
All the best that I could be  
It was you who set me free_

**Avengers Tower, New Year’s Eve, 11:30PM.**

“I’d like to say a few words before the ball drops, the fireworks go off, and the Iron Legion do their strip tease number. This year has been trying for all of us for various reasons. I wish this new year be kinder to us all. It’s never going to be easy. No matter how many villains we take down, there will be others to take their place, but we will be there for the fight. Whether it’s a dozen Avengers and half an Asgardian kingdom or just Spidey and his gang of high school friends--yeah, Parker, I see you there, it’s past your bedtime--we’ll fight injustice til the end,” Tony said. “Let love and kindness prevail.”  
“Here, here!” Bruce cheered, prompting everyone to raise their glasses.

_You opened my eyes  
You opened the door (opened the door)  
To something I'd never known before (never, never, never felt before)_

“Parker, how did you even get in? I have very strict security downstairs,” Maria said.  
“I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop in. Literally,” Peter said, taking a sip of his soda. “Plus, your security guy, Stanley, is over there dancing with Wanda.”  
Maria looked over and huffed, “Do I have to do everything around here?”  
Steve took her hand as the countdown began. “I don’t know about everything,” he said, pulling her close into him. “But you definitely have to kiss me when the ball drops. Mister and Missus Barnes over there are expecting a spectacle.”  
Maria smirked, wrapping her arms around Steve’s neck. “Well, then, let’s give them some fireworks.”

_And your love  
Is the music of my heart  
The music of my heart_


End file.
